I hadn’t fully understood the massive impact that the BBC series Merlin had been on my life until it ended. The feelings that overcame me were a total and complete surprise.
Why was the ending of this show so devastating? That is the question that, still today, I’m sorting out. I’ve spoken with old friends and made new ones as I’ve tried to make sense of this feeling of sorrow and loss.
I have very little insight into some of the reasons I’ve been so affected by this show, but what I have come up with is this. First: this show has shown us friendships that go so deep, it defies logic and it’s shown us how integrity is a trait to be treasured and upheld. It’s also shown us that even though we are wounded in the deepest part of ourselves, we can forgive and expect better.
I liked watching this show knowing that when someone was going to be killed I didn’t have to worry about the blood and gore. I also LOVED the romance that was pure and not tainted by today’s push that sex is the be all & end all of a relationship. The male, female relationships in this show were the type of relationships we long for in today’s world. The types of friendships and the leadership of a kind, caring King such as Arthur as well as the brotherhood between the King, his servant and his knights is the types of kinship I think most people would like to have in their own lives. I know I long for it.
This show has shown us that life can be honest, kind and filled with caring, loving and true friends as well as love. It gave us hope that we could have these things in our own lives and for it to end so quickly and with so little justice for our star Merlin who has been a caring, loving, kind, true and faithful friend was more than I could cope with. I think to see that after all his blood, sweat and tears that evil (Mordred and Morgana) wins over good(Merlin) left me in a state of flux. To see him alone without fulfilling his destiny at the end was a total feeling of injustice and incompleteness. I feel almost as if I’m Merlin walking on that road waiting for what should have been.
The whole Merlin concept has been a lesson in values and relationships and how fragile our family ties can be when misunderstandings and misinterpretations happen. The purity of friendship, loyalty and love that were the backbone of the series has showed us that acceptance of others in our society is a noble and just act. Seeing that friendship could overcome anything is uplifting and heartwarming.
Some of us started watching Merlin at a time in our lives when we were depressed and feeling sad and empty with nothing to look forward to and feeling like we weren’t accepted as we are in this cruel, selfish world. Merlin gave us an escape from that for a short time and as the show progressed we even began to feel that if Merlin could find acceptance, then maybe we could too. But the one thing we never see is that Merlin and magic are accepted in Camelot, and with acceptance being a strong thread though out the series this left me longing for that acceptance for Merlin and myself.
I’m not sure what we were supposed to take-away from the last two episodes, but satisfaction was not one of them! Seeing Merlin wandering alone, grieving and waiting for his destiny to be fulfilled was gut wrenching and not pleasant.
I had hoped the writers and creators would continue to take the same liberties with the ending as they had through the entire show.
So I sit or lie here writing to try and get my emotions out so I can “try” and get some normalcy back to my life.
I haven’t nor do I feel I will anytime soon be able to watch any episode of Merlin. I can’t take going through the feelings all over again knowing how unhappy Merlin was left in the end. I need to know that when we do what is right and just, we do get happiness from it. And I long for that happiness for Merlin.